Archive for category Humor / Tester

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

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Why the Internet sometimes freezes

Why internet sometimes freezes

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The truth about working in the IT industry

1. We work weird (night) shifts…
Just like prostitutes.

2. They pay you to make the client happy…
Just like a prostitute.

3. The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny…
Just like a prostitute.

4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the client’s dreams…
Just like a prostitute.

5. Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same profession as you…
Just like a prostitute.

6. When you have to meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed…
Just like a prostitute.

7. But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell…
Just like a prostitute.

8. The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you…
Just like a prostitute.

9. When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain it…
Just like a prostitute.

10. Everyday when you wake up, you say: “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life doing this.”
Just like a prostitute ……..

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Ler meg i hjel

Jeg satt og ante fred og ingen fare med siste episoden av LugRadio på øra da jeg kom over http://www.tv2.no/underholdning/moro/article1977150.ece.

Det er virkelig lenge siden jeg har hatt så kraftig latterkrampe.

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Starwatching

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An Engineer’s Guide to Cats

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Marriage

Before marriage:
He: “Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.”
She: “Do you want me to leave?”
He: “NO! Don’t even think about it.”
She: “Do you love me?”
He: “Of course!”
She: “Have you ever cheated on me?”
He: “NO! Why you even asking?”
She: “Will you kiss me?”
He: “Yes!”
She: “Will you hit me?”
He: “No way! I’m not that kind of person!”
She: “Can I trust you?”
After marriage:
Read it all again, only from bottom to top.

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Left Brain vs. Right Brain

Left Brain vs. Right Brain

Your answers suggest that you are more Right Brain dominant. You are more visual, intuitive, and rely on your feelings. You tend to look at the whole picture first, then the details. Right brain thinkers can see the whole of a problem first before the details and view problems from different perspectives. They are creative, imaginative, and particularly good at solving open ended problems. People that are right brain dominant however, can suffer from too many approaches and can be scatterbrained. They also tend to be less organized, lack attention to detail, and have trouble explaining their ideas verbally.

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Ikke bare jeg som har problemer om morran :D

Ut på tur

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Zune Balmer

Orginalen :

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